SHOULD I DEFY MY PARENTS’ ORDER TO MARRY HIM?
HELLO BUKKY,
This issue has been bothering me for sometime now. There is a man I love with everything I have. We have been together for years and we’ve planned on the shape our future will take. In fact, we’ve picked a wedding date within ourselves. But on showing him to my parents, they both rejected him. I have such strict parents that it only takes heavens to change their mind. What bothers me most is the issue of parental blessings that I’ve been made to believe that without the blessings of one’s parents over one in marriage, one is doomed to have a wretched marital home. They’ve recounted many reasons to me for me to call it a day with him, but I still love him and considering the number of years we’ve been together, I always want to be with him. Please, should I defy their order or still stick my love? I’m confused.
Christy
DEAR CHRISTY,
I so much understand the situation pictured above and many people in this part of the world have also been in your shoes before due to the culture in place. Your case seems to be between the devil and the deep blue sea— you don’t want to go against your parents’ wish, yet you want to hold on to a contradictory wish. You just need to exercise patience and be calm. You need to consider critically, the points tabled by your parents for rejecting the guy. I don’t want to start guessing the reasons for his rejection, but I want to believe they’re after your own joy and remember, they’ve passed through this stage before. They’re embodiments of experience and you can’t compare parents’ love with any other love. On one hand, I will implore you to listen to their advice and look inwards. Don’t allow the present love you seem to be in blind you from realities. I know such decisions are hard to make, but please, let reasoning override emotion so as not to regret at the end of the day.
However, your parents’ wish should not dictate your journey. They can only offer pieces of advice; nobody can help you lead your life. You shouldn’t satisfy your parents at the expense of a lifetime joy of yours. But whatever the choice you want to make, remember that nobody can also bear your sorrow with you. In as much as the joy remains with you and you alone, the consequences of your decision would only be bore by you alone too.
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