MANY ladies of nowadays don’t actually respect themselves, let alone give respect to their body. They don’t give a dime about who comes in or go out. They’ve turned their body into a gas cooker where anybody who knows how to operate it can cook their favourite meal and walk away. Their body is now seen as a playground where people have nice time. It seems this set of ladies prefer to be used and dumped always.

Although this piece is not written to judge anyone or prescribe a way of life for you, rather, it is just a piece of advice and tell you your prestige as a lady.

The first prestige of every lady is her virginity. I’m proud to tell you that it’s your virginity that makes you a woman and it is what defines you, I mean everything about you. Unfortunately, many ladies are no more found virgins, even the unexpected ones. And more sadly, they easily give out themselves to those who don’t love them; those who don’t see or envision any future for them. It is satanic to join them in echoing that men of these days don’t marry virgins. That’s nothing but a blatant lie! The truth is men really value and respect virgins. It is only a useless man that will say he doesn’t value a virgin.

As a lady, you must be able to keep yourself intact till that special night. What is life worth if you don’t envisage something good and distinct for yourself?  I’m pretty sure you understand what I’m driving at. You shouldn’t allow a useless man walk in with you, use you and thereafter dump you. As a lady, if you’re a virgin and you’re really sure you are, bet it with me, that real lover will wait for you. It simply means that he knows your worth and he’s convinced that you’re his taste. He knows what he’s looking for and he is convinced he can’t find it somewhere else but in you.

If you really want to have a lasting relationship, just say it to your lover in a soft voice “Darling, I’m a virgin” and see his reaction; concentrate on him for those few minutes and wait for the result of his actions. He’ll have a reason to be proud of you. And most importantly, he will wait till that special night to see what has been keeping him waiting. If you don’t want him to be informed so as it can appear to him a surprise, that’s also cool! The important thing is that you should make sure you’re truly intact. The fact is this earns you more respect, value and love from a man. Even when he’s angry, that special thing you preserved for him will supress his annoyance. As I do say, “let a man know you’re worth being waited for!”

Furthermore, your prestige as a lady is the way you respect yourself. Yeah! This is another excellent point. When a man approaches you, he sees where God has completed His work on you. Dear sister, you have to be very careful. Actually, you know what he’s looking for, but because of the self-respect you have, you pretend as if you have no inkling of where he’s driving at. Always end every conversation with “Thank you.” always leave out time to think about his proposal. Perhaps, you’re also moved after seeing him *wink* but it is self-respect to suppress it for a while. That will send a message to him that you have plans for yourself and that you have a scale to weigh the suitability of every suitor.  Only ensure that you’re not in any way rude during all these processes.

You’ve got to finesse the situation— tell a man what you require without making him feel like you’re ticking a list of demand. It all lies in the delivery; if you tell him your requirements in the midst of a conversation and they sound attainable, and you shape your standard in a soft voice, they’ll be easier for him to comprehend, and more importantly, act on them. And if he cannot, you have to let go of the relationship. Have plans for people who have plans for you. Mind you, the way you place yourself, requirements and standards will determine the level of respect he’ll give you! if you don’t set the standard by yourself, you’re making it clear to him that you’re worthless.

My prestigious ladies, let’s make it known to men that we don’t tolerate the “use and dump” style. We are not restaurants where everybody comes in to eat and moves out, nor are we a playground where anybody can come and have a nice time and thereafter take their leave. Keep that SPECIAL THING for that SPECIAL SOMEBODY!


ADESIYAN OLAYIWOLA OMOKEHINDE is a high school student. She resides in Ibadan and loves scribbling on relationship.



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